Fifty Minutes In Lafayette Park

Shrink: "Okay, group, let's start by saying our names and why we're here. Dan, you want to go first?"

Dan Rather: "Uh, my name's Kenneth. And I'm, uh, I'm here in an observatory capacity. Courage."

Shrink: "Sure. Now, Dan--"

Dan Rather: "KENNETH!"

Shrink: "--Kenneth, our goal here is to be honest about what's going on with our lives. . ."

Dan Rather: "If there's something honest going on in my life, I'll be the first to break it. Honest."

Shrink: "Let's move on. George, you want to go next?"

George Soros: "My name is George Soros. I am simply here to see how my Open Society philanthropy is enabling groups like this one to expand freedom."

Shrink: "Um, okay, George. Would you like to talk about your recent developments in the American elections?"

George Soros: ". . ."

Dan Rather: "Oh, go on, George. Talk about the millions you lost--"

George Soros: "Shut up, Dan!"

Dan Rather: "KENNETH!"

Shrink: "John! Would you like to talk about how losing has affected you?"

John Edwards: "Heh, heh. You know, I have lost before, it's true. I remember playing tee ball and losing our first game. Heh. My dad was working four shifts a day at the mill and he missed the game. And as I came to bat in the last inning and it was obvious we weren't going to win, I thought to myself, 'No man should have to work so much that he can't watch his son lose.' America shouldn't be divided in two: The America that can take off work and watch their sons choke, and the America that can't afford health care because I've driven the rates sky high. That's why it's so important that every vote count and every vote be counted. And that's why I've only started to fight. This isn't--"

Shrink: "Thank you, okay, thank you. . ."

John Edwards: ". . .about me, it's about. . ."

Shrink: "Yes, thank you, John. Colin, it's your turn."

Colin Powell: "If I'd known it was going to be like this, I would've stayed in D.C. This is ten times worse than getting spanked by Rummy. . . ."

Shrink: "!"